Broken Angel Page 19

  ‘To whom it may concern,

  ‘I lost the paper that had your name on it and I can’t remember what it was. Mother would tell me again, but I’ve been told to sleep and it’s past my bed time so I can’t ask her without getting scolded. I’m writing because I wanted to tell you what happened with asking Mother if it was all right to prank Joseph. I thought you might want to know, since I mentioned it before, and it would be rude to not tell you. She said that it was all right for me to prank as long as it wasn’t something hurtful or mean.

  Father thought it funny I ask, but when I explained it to him, he told me I was very mature and has promised to take me to town with him next week instead of my history lesson. It will be the first time he’s taken me to his office, and he said he wasn’t taken to his father’s office until he was twelve, and I’m but nine!’

  “Well. That certainly is an accomplishment for you, isn’t it Robert?” she chuckled.

  ‘I haven’t come up with a prank yet, but Caleb, Anthony, and Damon and I will meet at our tree fort tomorrow to plot one. Joseph has a cold and so can’t come out to play, so he won’t know about us getting together. If he does, we’ll just say we’re plotting on Elizabeth. She’s a bully that lives down the next street. Mother doesn’t believe me when I say she’s a bully, girls aren’t supposed to be bullies, but when she sets cats tails on fire and throws rocks at baby birds and puts pebbles into snow balls I don’t know what else to call her. If Caleb, Damon or any of us did things like that, we would be called hoodlums and given the switch or have our ears boxed.’

  “Perhaps you should prank her rather than Joseph,” Rachel mumbled.

  ‘I thought maybe we should prank Elizabeth instead of Joseph anyway, since I already popped him in the nose for what he said, but I haven’t asked Damon or the others yet. Joseph did look sorry, and Elizabeth never does. When she does something mean, she always blames one of us, usually Damon or myself. I don’t think she likes us, because we stand up to her. Father once said you should never let a bully push you down without getting right back up.’

  Rachel shook her head, chuckling. “As right you shouldn’t.”

  ‘Since she pushed over my snowman tonight, I think I will get the guys to plan a prank. I put a lot of work into that snowman and she didn’t care. She just pushed it over while I was at dinner, and me staring and watching and not able to do anything about it. She just grinned at me, stuck her tongue out, and pushed it over. I don’t like her very much at all.

  ‘I better go. R’

  And the last line of the sentence was hurriedly scrawled with a black mark at the end. “I sincerely hope you didn’t get caught, Master Robert,” she admitted, lips still smiling as she continued through the pile.

  Most of the loose-leaf letters rang with the same tone of boyish friendship, informing her of birthdays and gifts received. Pranks and tree-forts. Trips to town and his father’s office. In one letter he had confessed that writing the letters to her was fun, and that his tutor had given him extra marks for being so diligent at practicing his composition.

  However, there were a few of the loose-leaf letters that had a darker tone, those being dated after the death of his mother and Uncle and Aunt in the boating accident mentioned the day before. Rachel’s heart broke at the confusion and loss expressed so clearly in not only words, but in the occasional water marks that warped the inked pages.

  Yet the tone of the letters wasn’t completely hopeless. They weren’t completely angry. Throughout all the letters referring to her death, he continued to express a hope and a… belief that his mother and Aunt and Uncle were in a better place. That though he missed them terribly and thought it horrible that they should have to leave, he knew he would see them again. In Heaven. The way he repeated it within the letters was worded in a way to assure her of these truths, but Rachel had an instinct that the voicing of them helped him believe it. Ushering him, also, through the grief to a peace and maturity about death that not many children, nor adults, could claim.

  Robert Trent had been a very courageous youth.

  Rachel sighed and set aside the sheaf of papers, the action drawing her gaze to the now cold coffee in the silver decanter. She blinked and then softly laughed, cheeks flushing with a surprising wave of embarrassment. Then she poured herself a cup of cold coffee, added now lukewarm creamer and a bit of honey, and sipped it while retrieving the next letter.

  The journal remained safely hidden away within the box.

  ~~~

  Robert released a deep breath as he absently adjusted his hold on the reins of his black gelding. Missing breakfast with her hadn’t been as horrible as he thought it might be, but mostly because he had spent the morning in prayer and diligent study of certain chapters in the Bible. The duty had worked wonders at keeping his heart and mind under control while giving him a feeling of peace and renewed direction for their relationship.

  Now, standing but a few yards from the entrance of ‘Old Man Pars’ ranch, the desire to spend lunch and dinner with Rachel discussing pasts and presents and future families… They bombarded his peace and pushed him forward. If Damon or Caleb had been within riding or walking distance, they would have found him on their doorstep early in the morning. But as they hadn’t yet arrived from Virginia, Robert had to find the next man available.

  Todd Richards.

  “Well, hello there, Rob.”

  Robert looked to his right to offer a slight smile of greeting. Todd Richards approached from what was likely the morning duty of tending livestock. He had dressed in faded denims, hardy boots, a chambray shirt, and a faded hat to keep the sun from his face, neck, and eyes. A bale of wire was held in a leather-gloved hand, leaving the other free to wave.

  “Mr. Richards.”

  Todd smirked and continued to approach. “Call me Todd or Toddy. I ain’t my father. Never even met him.” Todd came to a stop by Robert and motioned toward him. “You looked a bit better the last time I saw you. Rach didn’t box your ears and send you on your way, did she?”

  Robert’s smile faded as he shook his head and looked to the duty of adjusting the reins within his hand. The horse nudged his back. “No. I exiled myself.”

  “Hm.” Todd regarded him a moment before giving him a somewhat firm push on the arm and motioning toward the small cabin/house. “Why don’tcha come on. Pars had to go to town for supplies, so we can talk without his two-bits.”

  “Thank you,” Robert agreed, briefly nodding.

  “Let me corral that beaut while you go have yourself a seat on the porch.”

  Robert handed the reins over, watching as Todd led the black gelding to the barn beyond the house and then disappeared within. Another deep and long breath didn’t usher away a kick of guilt and uncertainty that began pressing in on him since the evening before. It had lessened with prayer and Bible reading, but Robert had still felt it lurking. Even beneath the peace.

  A hand scrubbed at his scalp as he stepped forward to the porch, his other hand absently retrieving the pipe from his inner pocket. He clenched it between his teeth and ascended the steps, slowly lowering himself onto one of the home-made straight chairs and leaning back.

  “Need some tobacco?”

  Robert focused on Todd as he approached the house from the left side, coming around the porch and then ascending the steps. “No. Thank you. I chew. The pipe, that is. Habit.”

  Todd smiled and lowered himself into another chair opposite Robert’s. “And why’re you chawin’ on it this early in the mornin’. I didn’t think city folk were early risers.”

  A very small smile twitched Robert’s lips upward as he tapped the pipe chamber against his palm. “I’ve been up for a while. Always seem to rise with the sun. God and I have our best talks then.”

  “A’yep. I imagine so.” Todd kicked back, balancing the chair on its hind legs and resting the back against the side of the house. “And what were you two jawing about this morning that has you come all the way over here?”

&nbs
p; “Rachel.”

  Todd smirked. “That girl gets us gents up in a ball each time she smiles, that one. I remember the first time I saw her at the orphanage. She smiled at me. Thought I’d died and gone to heaven. Musta been only twelve years.”

  “The first time I saw her she had a frown. As well as the second.”

  “The third?”

  Robert’s expression softened when he remembered her call of “Sir! Wait!” and her smile.

  “A’yep. She smiled.” Todd absently pounded his palms onto the arms of his chair as he watched Robert intensely examine the pipe. “So what happened?”

  “I gave them.” And what a relief to finally be free of them.

  “Gave them…?”

  “Letters from my past. Letters and notes revealing myself, in good and bad times.”

  Todd knowingly nodded, again lightly pounding the arms of the chair. “How’d she take ‘em?”

  Robert shook his head, finally looking up to meet Todd’s understanding expression. “I don’t know, and I part of me wonders if I shouldn’t have given them over. Not yet. Yes, there was a peace with the action. After all, she deserves to know about myself from past to present, to encourage her trust, but…” Robert released a quick breath and scrubbed at his scalp, shaking his head as he looked away. “I don’t know,” he admitted, a bit harshly. “It felt so right to promise the giving last night and then to have it delivered this morning, but now the guilt…”

  “But it’s done, Rob,” Todd said simply, “and you can’t be takin’ it back or regretting the doing. You don’t got the time for that.”

  Robert sighed deep and let his head fall back. “I know, and I don’t understand why the guilt is hitting me so hard. God takes the foolish things we do and turns them into blessings. He’ll do the same here, but…” He shook his head and lifted it to focus on Todd. “I love her, Todd, and I didn’t expect to fall this quickly. I wanted it to happen, yes, but so soon?”

  Todd’s lips quirked in a boyish smile. “You decided to love her the minute you set eyes on her, I imagine. Only a bloomin’ idiot wouldn’t. Once you decide something like that, your heart can’t help but go the rest of the way.”

  A reluctant chuckle softened Robert’s almost pained expression. “Yes, I suppose you’re right. The one thing I have always determined was that I would love my wife.”

  Todd motioned toward him. “There ya go.” Then he crossed his arms, his scrutiny going a little deeper even as his expression remained non-serious. “I’ve got an itch in the back of my britches that there’s something about you and her different than what everyone seems to know.”

  “Oh? How so?” Robert asked, leaning back until his chair also balanced on its hind legs, the back support resting against one of the beams to the porch’s roof. He chewed the end of his pipe.

  “Don’t rightly know. I get these itches sometimes. Had one the days before Maggie told me Rach were being sent away to study. Had me another before Rach came back. Sometime between I’ve had a dozen or so before something happened or someone showed up or did something.” Todd continued to regard Robert’s nonchalant chew of pipe and rock of chair. Then he shrugged and looked away. “I imagine I’ll find out when I need to.”

  “A hard answer, that one.”

  Todd grinned and focused again on Robert. “Sure but that it is.”

  Robert chuckled and then motioned toward him with his pipe. “You’ve a blessed role with her, Todd. Trusted friend. You and Maggie both.”

  “That I do,” Todd agreed, nodding, “but I imagine she trusts you more than what you think she does.”

  Robert lowered his gaze and gave a slight nod. “I hope so. It’s hard to know how to encourage it when all I can see is the suspicion and reluctance.”

  “A’yep. That I know. She protects herself like a cornered dog, that one.”

  “With good reason,” Robert said, voice hushed.

  Todd gave a curt nod. “She shouldn’ta been sent away to that school. And she only did it to make him proud of her. To do what she thought he wanted her to do. Her heart were always set after him and what he wanted.” He crossed his arms and huffed a bit. “I hate to think her pap sent her away because he didn’t think she good enough as she was. She were an alright gal. Spunky but with her heart in the right place. Now it’s all turned around and backwards.”

  Robert rubbed at his forehead as he said, “And she’s torn between one life and another.”

  Todd nodded again. “That she is. I think if she could find who she is and not who her pap wants her to be, she’d be… different. Back to the old Rach who laughed a bit more than what she does, looking at life with wide eyes ‘steada narrow ones.”

  “Well said.” Robert moved his focus to the road leading away from the cabin and back toward town. “But how… How do I encourage her to welcome back that ‘Rachel’. How do I help her to trust her heart and not her training?”

  “I’m thinking that’s the answer Rachel’s gotta find on her own. We’ve but to keep her after it.”

  “Yet how do we do that short of removing her totally and completely from the influence of her father and the life he’s determined to control?” Robert shook his head and moved his gaze to meet Todd’s. “She won’t leave it. Anyone that threatens the family or the business is rejected and separated from. Myself included.”

  “A’yep. That sounds like Rachel.” Todd adjusted his crossed arms. “I guess we let things be, keepin’ on as friends as she takes each step forward. Maybe it’ll give her the spunk to make the harder step? Seems to me Mags and I did that a lot when she were finally peeking outside her shell.”

  Robert thoughtfully regarded Todd, who somewhat distractedly frowned at the toes of his boots. “Todd.”

  He looked up. “Huh.”

  “What did Rachel love to do as a young girl? When you first knew her?”

  “Well now, let me think.” He removed his hat and scrubbed a hand through his blonde hair, tossing the hat a bit carelessly onto a hand-hewn table to the right. “There was her poems, and she and Mags would always come by the orphanage as much as her pap would let her come. They’d bring books and clothes and whatnot that they’d gathered from town and neighbors and the like.” Todd met Robert’s gaze. “Seems to me she smiled the brightest when she either come or just been there. Loved the wee ones, especially those not yet half as old as she. She and Mags would spend hours teachin’ them games and reading and math and Lord knows what else.”

  Robert absently nodded, remembering her soft expressions when with Bobby and April. Remembering the gentle way she urged the younger ones onto her lap as they told their stories. The kinder memories of a ‘Rachel’ she didn’t fear.

  “I see the workings of an idea on your face,” Todd observed.

  “Perhaps,” Robert admitted slowly, tapping his lips with the tip of his pipe. “I’ve but to pray it into action or closure.”

  “The orphanage?” Todd prompted.

  A smile lightened Robert’s expression. “The orphanage.”

  Todd’s boyish smile returned. “Her pap’ll wring our necks.”

  “So be it.”

  ~~~

  “Miss Rachel?”

  Rachel looked up from the last of the loose-leaf letters as Oliver entered the sitting room. “Yes, Oliver?”

  “There has come a message from several of the contacted newspapers. I’ve had them carefully bound and set on the main hall table.”

  “Thank you, Oliver. I’ll see to them a little later.”

  “Of course, Miss.” He motioned into the room. “Will you be lunching here?”

  “Lunch?” Rachel looked to the clock on the mantel and gave a soft gasp. “Dear me, I hadn’t realized what time it was. No.” She refocused on Oliver’s patiently waiting countenance. “Have a cart prepared and taken out to the garden, include the messages from the newspaper men as well.” Rachel stood, grimacing as a hand went to her numb posterior. “I shall have to chastise Mr. Trent at writing
such engrossing letters.”

  Oliver’s lips twitched. “Yes, Miss.”

  Taking up the letters and placing them once more within the box, she directed “Have the cart taken to the table in the northeast corner of the garden. I’ll meander my way there.”

  “Very good, Miss.”

  “Tell Father, should he ask.” She sent Oliver a sidelong glance. “Unless he left to yet another mysterious appointment, of which you can’t say.”

  Again the twitch of lip before he said, “Not another appointment, Miss. Paperwork in the upper study.”

  “Not to be disturbed?”

  “I’m afraid not, Miss.”

  “Ah well. So be it.”

  She took up the lid, securely affixed it upon the top of the box, and then gathered it into her arms as Oliver exited the room. Rachel followed after to turn to the left and make her way to the back gardens. The letters read from Robert’s young life had given her an oddly welcome look at a young boy’s adventurous and gallant heart. Throughout all the letters he hadn’t ever referred to her as anything but ‘Lady of Letters’ or ‘To whom it may concern’. At first it had been due to the fact he couldn’t remember the name of his betrothed. Then he had come to the decision of leaving the name unwritten.

  The decision had come at the age of eleven, toward the end of the loose-leaf letters, when he had felt a press on his heart to think of her as ‘the lady God intends me to marry’ rather than ‘the lady I’m told to marry’. In his young heart, writing ‘her’ name would have taken the control from God.

  That Robert would continue to believe God had such an intimate interest in his life and that of his intended continued to intrigue Rachel.

  Now, so positioned in the back corner of the garden with the box on one side and the previously read loose-leaf letters on the other, Rachel reached within and retrieved the next portion. The first told of a happy occasion for the both of them: Elizabeth being sent away to a boarding school in England. Rachel chuckled, reading on of Joseph’s enrollment at West Point, Anthony being forced to move to India with his parents - his father being a missionary - and Caleb being sent to spend the summer with his Uncle and Aunt in Willamette, Oregon.